Secret Squirrel Ends Global Warming Problem By Creating More Fat People.

Secret Squirrel has seen the headlines screaming,such as “Global Warming! You’re Responsible! What You Can do”. Well,Secret Squirrel has pondered many scientific findings, and in doing so has usually
come up with rather interesting scientific and scientifically provable, and scientifically backed, facts, and, as always, has come up with a solution to the problem, in this case, the problem of global warming. Government is right, and government is wrong, but Squirrel is always right, scientifically provably right, and so cannot be wrong. Squirrel has discovered that the whole cause of global warming, and also yet the very cure to the problem of global warming, is …….. actually ……. FAT PEOPLE.

NOW, let Squirrel make this perfectly clear, Squirrel does NOT,in any way shape nor form, BLAME fat people …. nay not at all, Squirrel, does, in fact state that fat people can get us out of this global warming bind, the more, the merrier. Squirrel shall here go on to explain.

Of course, the entire global warming issue, and problems associated directly and indirectly with the issue of global warming, is also most directly encompassed by and most directly affected by three (3) most important things in life, for a person, fat or slim, affected  by 1) Dieting, 2) Exercising, 3) Eating.

The body stores the excess protein or carbs in a person’s diet in form of FAT, specifically, as triglyceride molecules, which consist of just three kinds of atoms: carbon, hydrogen and oxygen. For people to lose weight, their triglycerides must break up into building blocks, which happens in a process known as oxidation.

When a triglyceride is oxidized (or “burned up”), the process consumes many molecules of oxygen while producing carbon dioxide (CO2) and water (H2O) as waste products. Of course here entering in to the
equation also, involves the digestive generation of flatulence, fartings as it were and is,which, of course involves the direct food converted release of gas, warm gas in to the atmos thus directly increasing global warming and its effects. Of course, it is noted that those most guilty in the field
of fartings are, of course, Mexicans, due to their high bean diet. Here I cannot comment as to what would be better for the world, but fartings is certainly not one of them.

So, going on there, through the clouds of digestive scientific fartings, plainly put, to burn 10 kilograms (22 lbs.) of fat, a person needs to inhale 29 kg (64 lbs.) of oxygen. And the chemical process of burning that fat will produce 28 kg (62 lbs.) of carbon dioxide and 11 kg (24 lbs.) of water, the researchers calculated.The researchers showed that during weight loss, 84 percent of the fat that is lost turns into carbon dioxide and leaves the body through the lungs, whereas the remaining 16 percent becomes water. The calculations also show the frightening power of, for example, a small muffin over an hour of exercise: At rest, a person who weighs 154 pounds (70 kg) exhales just 8.9 mg of carbon with each breath. Even after an entire day, if this person only sits, sleeps, and does light activities,your typical couch potato, he or she exhales about 200 grams of carbon, the researchers calculated.

So,sadly, we all contribute to global warming, by merely eating and
digesting,however we must mention and make note of fat people, store far more efficiently and exhale, or whatever, far less of what they eat, so they are,in fact much more efficient.

However,consider, eating a 100 g muffin can cover 20 percent of what was lost, of course eating a full 10 recovers, easily ALL of what was lost. On the other hand, replacing one hour of rest with exercise such as jogging, removes an additional 40 g of carbon from the body, the researchers said. Even if one traces the fates of all the atoms in the body, the secret to weight loss remains the same: In order to lose weight, one needs to either eat less carbon or exercise more to remove extra
carbon from the body. What this all means, mostly, surely and directly, dieting,exercising INCREASE global warming most significantly AND FAT PEOPLE should never ever be allowed to diet nor exercise in any way shape nor form, and that forcing them to actually eat MORE will significantly DECREASE the amount of available carbon and thence carbon dioxide from the environment,PROVIDED that, they DO NOT DIET NOR EXERCISE, else they will significantly increase most greatly, available atmos carbon dioxide and hence result in an increase in global warming. So to maintain the present status quo in the world with respect to global warming, fat people must not exercise, must continue to eat, and must not exercise.Their further eating and lack of exercise will increase their bulk and so store much carbon dioxide which is now scrubbed from the environment and so safely stored.

They must avoid directly highly destructive dieting which can and will and shall cause the massive release of further grand quantities of carbon dioxide in to the atmos and so raise global warming to frightening levels.

To further decrease global warming, and its effects, we must therefor INCREASE the available amount of fat people. Doing so we shall most surely, and provably, all things not withstanding, rein in global warming, and ultimately, most easily control and finally end, global warming.

Yet what do we find, of course? Governments, most notably the American and The British government, actually are doing and encouraging the exact direct opposite. Yes, I shudder to think, but yet it is so, they encourage people to exercise, most severely. They encourage people to diet,they encourage people to reduce their body’s fat content, and they encourage people to eat far less such that we do not and cannot generate more of the very much needed and scientifically cherished, worldly important, worldly influencing, fat storage people,in plain layman’s terms really, simply put, fat people. A sad sorry state of affairs it is. But such is government, hardly the factual world, hardly the actual world, hardly the scientific world, hardly the world of sense and sensibility, hardly the world of Secret Squirrel.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel And The Weird Scenes Inside The Fat Farm

Secret Squirrel has discovered a great many uses for fat people, for their fat, and at the same time, Squirrel has discovered ways to get them thin again, something they should be wanting to do and become, and all the while they’ll be making themselves useful to their society, to their fellow man, to their nation,and once thin, they’ll cost society a lot less, and perhaps more importantly to them, they’ll be able to get fat again, fat to the extent that they can once again enter in to Squirrel’s Fat Farm System,where they will once again be recycled in to that system…..hence, they’ll have become,useful to society and at the self same time, environmentally friendly.Consider now that there are actualy many little known,hardly advertised,uses for the liposuction fat garnered from fat people.

Here consider that “Liposuction Fat Can Be Turned Into Stem Cells”,so a  Study Says,
Using leftovers from liposuction patients, scientists have turned human fat into stem cells, a new study says.The new method is much more efficient than a previous practice that used skin cells, researchers say.Human fat is “an abundant natural resource and a renewable one,” said Stanford University plastic surgeon Michael Longaker, whose liposuction patients donated the fat for the study.
Longaker envisions a future in which doctors will be able to use fat from a patient to grow, in a lab, new tissues and organs for that patient.
The reprogrammed cells, called induced pluripotent stem cells, or iPS cells, are capable of turning into most types of cells in the body.Scientists are keen to obtain these cells to study disease and, one day, use them to grow new tissue and replacement organs.Previously, researchers had shown that they could derive this type of stem cell from ordinary skin cells.But the fat technique is about twice as fast and 20 times more efficient, said Joseph Wu, the study’s senior author.

Now there’s Breast Augmentation Using Fat Injection and Liposuction – An Alternative to Traditional Breast Implants,New Advances in Fat Grafting for Cosmetic Surgery Allow San Diego Plastic Surgeon Dr. Steven Cohen to Perform Breast Augmentation through Fat Injection Under Local Anesthesia
The use of a patient’s fat, and ultimately their fat derived stem and regenerative cells as filler for cosmetic surgery such as breast reconstruction and augmentation, may present a healthier, safer option for breast enhancement in some women. The application of fat also has potential benefits for other areas of aesthetic plastic surgery like breast implant salvage, facial rejuvenation and body contour deformities.Using a new dialysis/filtration technology called PureGraft, a physician can clean and process the fat in a sterile environment without motorized methods. Once fat has been carefully removed by specialized liposuction, done carefully to preserve the stem and regenerative cells, PureGraft technology filters everything but the pure fat tissue.
Some plastic surgeons also use liposuction fat on a limited basis for other types of cosmetic procedures such as breast augmentation, face wrinkle filling, or lip injections; these are also known as fat transfer procedures. Good candidates for fat transfer injections are those with areas of the face or body that could be improved by being significantly filled out in volume. Due to the natural composition of human fat cells, some doctors prefer to use liposuction fat over synthetic injection fillers.

Also Blood Vessels Made From Liposuction Fat Stem Cells From Fat Used to Make Blood Vessels to Repair Damaged Hearts.

Your own fat,or the fat of others, can be used to fill in furrows, lips, acne scarring and hollowed out areas on the face. This procedure has the advantage of being very soft and natural appearing as well as the ability to permanently correct the area it is placed in. Fat is a “filling” substance that can be used in small volumes to fill in most depressions as long as the skin above it can stretch to accommodate it. For example, lips can be made fuller by this technique. This is a procedure done while you are awake using only local anesthesia. Fat is a perfect filler — it is soft and natural feeling by itself. There is no allergic reaction to it, since it comes from your own body. There is even a chance that it will become permanent in the new location!

The Fat Harvest and Transfer procedure takes approximately 1 1/2 hours, and is done under local anesthesia. Excess fat taken out can be frozen for up to 6 months. Injections of frozen fat take a 15 minute appointment.

Recall now a fat powered boat……..Eco-boat powered by human fat attempts round the world speed record.
The fastest eco boat on the planet will attempted to break the round the world speed record using fuel made from human fat.

Record breaking attempt: Earthrace  attempted to circumnavigate the globe running 100 per cent biodiesel, and with a net zero carbon-footprint.
Earthrace is a 78 foot alternative fuel powered wave-piercing trimaran, it can carry 3,000 gallons of fuel, and weighs 23 tonnes when fully fuelled. Demonstrating further commitment to the cause, Bethune underwent liposuction and donated enough to produce 100ml of biofuel, while two other, larger volunteers also had the procedure, making a total of 10 litres of human fat.
This in turn produced seven litres of biofuel, which could help the boat travel about 15km.
Earthrace is fuelled on 100 per cent biodiesel and has a net zero carbon footprint.
Pete Bethune, the New Zealand skipper of Earthrace, believes the boat can help advance biodiesel as a genuinely viable alternative to petroleum diesel.

Also now recall how a Liposuction Doctor Used Fat from Patients to Power His Car.
It sounds like a great idea, actually: Take the excess body fat from liposuction patients and use it to power your car. That’s what a Beverly Hills doctor figured, and he even bragged about it on his website LipoDiesel.com (now shut down). It even sounds like a California trend: Get thin and reduce America’s dependence on foreign oil all at the same time!
So now Dr. Alan Bittner’s clinic is closed, and liposuction patients have to get their fat sucked out somewhere else. So where, exactly, does all that excess body fat go from liposuction clinics? If you saw Fight Club, you might recall the main characters rendering the body fat into high explosives. I like the Lipodiesel idea better, because it puts the excess body fuel towards a more productive use.
Instead of shutting down this operation, the state of California should embrace it. Why not do a joint venture with McDonalds? “Eat a Big Mac. You’ll get a smile, and your car goes another mile!”
Besides, a nation full of fat people could serve as a reserve oil supply. If the Arab nations stop shipping us barrels oil, we can just start tapping into the population to power our cars with liposuction fat. And if we run out of body fat to process into diesel fuel, we can always eat more, right? Eating more junk food might actually become patriotic: “Snarf down some burgers and fries for your nation’s energy independence!” Talk about Freedom Fries, huh?

Don’t laugh, because I’m not making this up, but the human body stores so much energy that the town of Helsingborg, Sweden, uses the heat from local crematoriums to generate about 10 percent of the heat used its homes. Technically speaking, it would be a very simple matter for crematoriums to power steam turbines that generate electricity.

Think about it:

* Biofuel from human fat cells can power cars, trucks, even power plants themselves
* Free Liposuction! Mass liposuction at a given weight for the entire population
* These “biological fuel stores” will be “sheared like sheep” at a given interval to keep energy supplies up
* “Fatties” will no longer be a negative term; the obese will be regarded as patriotic as they fuel our nation and become an essential part of our nation’s infrastructure
* Obesity “Epidemic” coverage would disappear as people would be proud of their bulkier humankind
* Fast Food would be encouraged
* Clothes industry would expand, making dual sizes – full and empty
* Diet pyramid schemes would disappear overnight

Now, If one weighed about 200lbs. It would only take about 4 months to get  up to 300. If they sucked out a third of the body fat at 300 pounds, he could be back at 200 in about the same time. Considering the fact that  body fat would be used for energy, it seems like a great trade-off.
Besides, with that kind of energy return, who wouldn’t want the U.S. government to invest in such a bold plan,what of the U.K. government,would they realize the sense and sensibility in such a plan as I propose,or would they cover and retreat to their ink and incapability?

After all, America IS the land of opportunity,why then not too the U.K.?

Now how to do it,concentrate large numbers of fat people in one place, a fat camp, using abandoned refurbed British nut houses and in America, abandoned US prisons.Imagine what I,errr we, could offer An All-Inclusive Fat Farm Summer Package for example, and for the more burgeoise of Fat Men, year round stays possible.Now we offer an attractive all-inclusive package to fat camp this summer. We can even yet charge them,say just $3,000 per person, for four wonderful weeks in serene paradise, while they focus on improving their body,by liposuction. We’ll let them know that their packages are not your typical hamster wheel fat farms,where the fatties work treadmills turning electical energy generators, no siree. If you want to loose a few pounds this camp is all about packing on as much extra lard as possible,and then having it liposuctioned off,for free.The Fat Farm’s motto………?”Know Fat! Know Good!Now Fat!Now Good!No Fat! No Good! The package includes a money-back guarantee.

After a complimentary welcome party and a twelve course “getting to know each other” meal, you will be assigned a personal chef/waiter/maid/masseuse. These sexy boys/girls,dependent on your inclination,in America we can even yet throw in some learning Senatorial interns.
Instead of canoeing or playing volleyball, you’ll be lounging in front of a wide screen TV, eating all the buffalo wings, buttered popcorn, enchiladas, and guacamole you can handle. All-Inclusive means unlimited beverages, so feel free to order a tub of double thick chocolate milkshakes or a barrel of Margaritas.

While most places offer an arts and crafts tent,ours stocks a dessert room,a free buffet,all you really can eat. No need to make an appointment, just stop by and stuff your face whenever you feel like it. If you have a craving for chocolate mousse topped with double-stuffed Mallows at four o’clock in the morning, don’t worry, the dessert room will be there for you.

If you do feel like exercising, lumber on over to the Olympic-sized swimming pool. The pool is refilled each day with a different tasty treat. Some days you’ll be doing laps through butterscotch pudding, and other days you’ll be in dog paddle heaven, swimming through lemon meringue.

The counselors are there to help; they want you to reach your full potential and be as huge as you can be,we will even yet use the french method of feeding you, just as they feed geese and ducks they fatten for pate de fois gras, of which you will also be happily supplied with free a la carte,buffet at no charge what so ever,force feeding is always an option.

During your stay you will be treated to a series of motivational speakers, each telling their personal body stretching story. These stories of drive and determination will make you go for the gold, or at least for another platter of extra cheesy lasagna.
Here we have an interesting video of a typical dining room scene, they will be shown this and told it could be you………..

And they will be told that early and frequent early liposuction prevents this from happening…….
Of course, if the fat people just won’t come around to being made useful members of society,and certainly useful they have proven to be by the many modern uses of liposuction, well, then perhaps we’ll just have to construct railways to the places, and simply……..round’em up.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Says, In The 60’s It Was Flower Power,Consider Now….FAT POWER!!

If you have ever been curious about how much power can be generated while running on a treadmill, you will now easily find out. Power is defined as the rate at which you burn energy. As long as you know how much energy you burn in a given amount of time–something most modern treadmills can estimate for you–you can calculate your average power output during your workout. The calculation will require a few steps and unit conversions, but is relatively simple overall.

Firstly set up your treadmill to count the calories you burn during your workout. Usually, you will be
asked to enter your age, height and weight to enhance the accuracy of the calorie counter. Consult your
treadmill’s manual for detailed instructions on how to do this.

Now complete the workout for which you want to calculate your power output. For example, consider a half-hour workout during which you burn 800 calories.

Next convert the calories to joules, the scientific unit of energy that will be required to calculate
power in watts. Keep in mind that the capitalized “Calories” displayed on your treadmill–and on the nutrition labels of foods for that matter–are actually kilocalories. There are 4,186 joules in a
kilocalorie, so the calculation to convert 800 kilocalories to joules would look like this:

800 kilocalories x 4186 joules / kilocalorie = 3,348,800 joules

Calculate your power output by dividing the energy you burned by the amount of time, in seconds, it took you to burn it. There are 1800 seconds in your half-hour workout, so:3,348,800 joules / 1800 seconds = 1860.4 joules per second = 1860.4 watts.Your average power output during your half-hour workout was 1860.4 watts, or 1860.4 joules per second.

Now Convert watts to horsepower, if you like, by dividing the wattage by 745.8, the number of watts in a horsepower. For example:1860.4 watts / (745.8 watts per horsepower) = 2.5 horsepower

Pretty good isn’t that. Imagine if the fatman was converted to farmwork to pull a plow, he would be only really asked to do the work of either a one horse plow, or at worst case sceneario, a two horse
team……..conceiveably they,the fat people,the obese,the lards or whatever you would,could and do call them, could be employed on farms as a much cheaper alternative to a tractor,Mennonites,The Amish, The Pennsylvania Dutch could be rented these lards to apply them to plowing the fields by a completely acceptable, non mechanical means of plowing………in exchange for room and board………..and……………food.

But there’s more to things than that, on said treadmill each fatman could have their treadmill hooked such as to power an electrical generator and so contribute to the electricalGrid,creating electrical energy,electricity.

A large amount of fatties in a local gym scenario could provide a vast amount of electrical generated energy to contribute to the local power grids a specific workout times.A specific comic strip,Dilbert mentioned something in the scenario of…..

“Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that energy companies will place huge hamster wheels outside of convenience stores and offer free lottery tickets to people who spend five minutes running in them. The hamster wheels will be connected to power generators.
– The Dilbert Future ”

Well they’re somewhat in the ball park as to a working idea, just their idea of using lottery tickets
to attract those to turn the hamster wheel treadmills………rather t’is better to use the fatman,
nicht whar…….indeed even yet to legislate that those above a certain BMI must report to local
hamsterwheel or treadmill fat generating stations at specific times of the day, the time and time on a treadmill determined by specific BMI mass being at a certain point above normal levels.Indeed local Health Centers could be employed as such for their treadmiils, everybody else continuing to exercise as normal on other apparatus at their leisure(they are also referred to as leisure centers as so would most definitly be in that regard.),but the local certers would become readily online energy adding stations to a local power grid, making fat people useful members of society.

I realized there was a great use and need for fat people,in modern society, uses such that they would
be employed properly, without actually abusing them, helping them,as it were?Yes, indeed, and this is
an idea that occurred to me as I visited the local “fat” farm, the exercise,den of iniquity, at least
from the point of view of the fat, which was strangely visited only by the thin,the lean, the slim, who
wished to stay so. Consider now, a power plant with water wheels and the people run in them like
hamsters—> benefits= loss of weight and power saving, people dont get mad…pay them to loose weight
whilst adding energy to the world.these people them supplying America with free energy. How much
energy? A lot of free energy! There are 3,500 calories in 1 pound of bodyweight. An average obese man
weighing at a modest 300lbs. will contain 1,050,000 calories. Since there are 14,644 Joules in 3500
calories, a 300lbs person can provide over 4,393,200 Joules(4,393.2 KJ) of pure energy. One kilo-joule
per second equates to one kilo-watt. The average U.S. household uses one kilo-watt of energy every
second. Therefore, 4,393.2 KJ/60 seconds amounts to over 73.22 minutes of power for the average U.S.
household. So that fat guy you see eating a sandwich at work can potentially power your whole house for
over an hour.HEALTH and energy chiefs need to consider Squirrel’s plan to make fat people power
turbines by forcing them to run in giant hamster wheels,turning suitable electrical generators, thus
contributing to any particular city’s power grid!!

Now in Denmark, ponder this……..Danish Hotel Pays Its Guests to Generate Electricity on Exercise
Bikes

Just 15 minutes of cycling can produce 10 watt-hours of electricity, and earn you a free meal.Bored
guests at a certain Crowne Plaza hotel can now skip the pricey mini-bar and hop on an exercise bike,
generate some electricity, and earn some meal vouchers. The hotel in Copenhagen started the free meal
idea as a way to boost guests’ fitness and shrink their carbon footprint, according to the BBC.
The bikes are hooked up to generators that require guests of average fitness to pedal for about 15
minutes to create 10 watt-hours of electricity. iPhones attached to the handlebars display the amount
of power being generated.Hitting the 15-minute mark earns lucky exercisers a $36 meal voucher, and that’s presumably on a
repeatable reward system.Now what about making that manditory for Fatties, yes, indeed, making them work
to generate electricity, making them literally pimp themselves, to work for food they actually earn
whilst generating energy for electricity to be added to the nation’s power grid! This can be adapted to
the Health Center Energy Generating Sections, such that the Fat People so “employed” to generate
electricity, will also have to generate electricity to EARN their keep, to pay for their food at
mealtime.A capital idea eh whot!

Don’t feel sorry for them, no…consider the famous words……..

“Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of
chocolate cake.”
– Anonymous

Yes, an all round jolly good show! Fat people at work for society! Loosing weight contributing to
society!Generating lost of free electricity! Whilst helping themsleves and loosing weight! Yes, and the
generating electricity so that they can eat,and KEEP they fat they so desire! Amazingly and
interestingly and useful vicious cycle!

Remember the words of Mike Meyers FAT BASTARD…..

“I eat because I’m unhappy, and I’m unhappy because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle.”

That’ll change to

“I generate electrcity because I’m fat, to loose weight, I generate electricity to gain money to eat,
to keep me fat.It’s a vicious cycle.”

But………………society benefits.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engin

To Tax,Or Not To Tax, The Fat Of The Land,THAT Is THE Question.

Secret Squirrel ponders introducing a form of participatory government,by introducing an MRL referendum on taxing the fat of the land, in short,living off the fat of the land!Finally!In America……
According to a recent Washington Post article, legislatures in at least 25 states are currently debating more than 140 bills aimed at curbing obesity…….According to the Post, six bills proposed by New York State Assemblyman Felix Ortiz (D) would slap hefty taxes on not only fatty foods,

BBC headlines read……..

Government unit ‘urges fat tax’
Burgers are among the foods likely to be hit by a ‘fat tax’
Plans for a tax on fatty foods.

In short……..Welcome to fat Britain, where one in three adults is overweight or obese, and where childhood obesity has increased threefold in 20 years. England has the fastest increasing weight problem in the world.Are there plans afoot by the Labour government to capitalize on this? Yes!

And comment from
http://www.ifs.org.uk/publications/1797
says……………..

“This Briefing Note looks at the potential for the introduction of a ‘fat tax’ into the UK in an effort to reduce the growing prevalence of obesity in Britain. There are different forms such a tax could take. One possibility is to tax the nutrient contents of foods such that those containing more fat or salt, for example, are
taxed more heavily. Alternatively, particular types of foods, such as snacks or soft drinks, could be subject to a tax, or VAT could be extended to foods that are currently zero-rated but have a high fat content.Revenue from a ‘fat
tax’ could be used in various ways, such as financing subsidies for healthy foods or exercise equipment, funding advertising campaigns for healthy eating or in schools. Alternatively, it could form part of general government receipts.”

There are other reasons for a fat tax…..by everybody all round, for example charging overweight insurance policyholders since they are more likely to claim or cost claims due to their condition of being fat. The rationale is twofold.

First, fat people are more likely to develop expensive health problems. Second, fat can be avoided or reduced through exercise and healthy eating. If we charge fat people more for health insurance—or charge thin people less, which amounts to the same thing—people will improve their habits.

Recall, in the Americas,not long after the attack on Pearl Harbor, in the winter of 1942, physiologist A.J. Carlson made a radical suggestion: If the nation’s largest citizens were charged a fee—say, $20 for each pound of overweight—we might feed the war effort overseas while working to subdue an “injurious luxury” at
home.

Airlines have taken to charging,Air France is initiating a Fat Tax, and on other airlines, overweight passengers requiring two seats, not really a tax,but a form of fat compensation,are charged for the extra seat required………….Ryanair is going a touch further,also considering

* Charge per kg over 130kg/20 stone (male) and 100kg/15 stone (females);

* Charge per inch for every waist inch over 45 inch (male) and 40 inch (female);

* Charge for every point in excess of 40 points on the Body Mass Index (+30 points is obese);

* Charge for a second seat if passengers’ waist touches both armrests simultaneously.

Well, in ye olde days, things were done by weight, such as awarding local Aristos,Kings or whatever a form of truage based on weight,(taxation by Spanish Alcaldes in America,a direct example) of course, meaning fatties were really expensive(later on there evolved taxation without representation, whereby they were inappropriately available for the weigh-in and simply gave out a stated weight,this led to revolting situations due to over taxation)………..yet here the lean and slim were taxed at the behest of the really really fat, and heavily too.

Well, there also was the revival of the poll tax of the horrid 1800’s to be imposed on the people by the government,in short equal taxation for everybody,regardless of income, in short not taxing those monetarily fat more, for being so. Merely increasing the taxation on the lean, the poor as it were.

The UK Poll Tax Riots were a series of mass disturbances, or riots, in
British cities during protests against the Community Charge (commonly known as the poll tax), introduced by the Conservative government led by Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.The Labour party was no good, recall the response of the Labour Party and the Labour movement and some sections of the far left, including Militant, was
to condemn the riot as senseless and to blame anarchists,in short agreeing with and supporting the poll tax.However,wisdom prevailed and the Poll tax,brought by Britain’s Iron Maiden,and supported by New Labour, ceased to stab at the
body politic of the people. Well why not reverse this discrimination and tax those who are fat, charge’m by the pound, and all round fat poll tax based on weight, taxing the people at large on the basis of their weight. This encourages slimming down, doesn’t it,this encourages a healthier populace by the introduction of a
healthy tax…………in short,the government of the people, would then live off, truly, the fat of the land!!!! This could be done on the national basis. As for restaurants, they could introduce a walk in scale system, weigh the clientelle as they walk in, and so meter tax their
meal on the basis of weight, those fatter paying a sliding upwards scale of more meal tax. Monies such accrued by government could be diverted to the typical governmental pork barrel politics pork spending projects.

Indeed Gordon Brown’s Labour government is running on,and has presented to the people it’s manifesto, the motto,”Let Them Drink Water!”

What will result? Well other nations could then initiate and encourage a huge
economic immigration and brain drain on Britain by using the motto “Give Me Your Tired, Your Rich, Your Big Fat Asses”.So we are left with the dilema,but we in the MRL have a solution to all this, the typical pass the buck system, but not the one you imagine from other parties! Nay! We in the MRL would set up and encourage a true
democracy, the plebiscite, a vote by the people, by the plebs, the
plebians,YOU, which will pose the question”Do we tax and live off of the fat of the land.?” YAAAH! Or Nay? Do the Eyes have it, Or the Nose? You will decide!!! That’s the MRL,that’s democracy,that’s democracy in action!! Good for the MRL! Good For You!!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.