Secret Squirrel Reduces The United Kingdom’s National Debt

Secret Squirrel has taken note of the United Kingdom’s horrific and ever increasing National Debt.But Secret Squirrel has also seen a solution to save the United Kingdom,yes, save, from the horrific debt problem, Squirrel has seen how to actually reduce the United Kingdom’s massive debt, created by non MRL governments,yes reduce that massive debt reduce that debt by no less than half, yes, that’s right by fifty (50) per cent,rightly,intelligently, and properly and legally.Consider this now,that the Government has clearly said our debt hit £1043 billion April 2011,(1.04 trillion,pounds,yes, still secure pounds, not dollars as highly questionable as the highly suspicious sausages served on Indian Rail),1043 billion pounds, or,again, 1.04 trillion pounds,a debt of say 33000 pounds person on.

Squirrel has researched and has found that Government figures showed that at the end of 2005, government net debt stood at £400bn or .400 trillion……an interesting rise of 643 billion pounds, .643 trillion pounds……….and amounts to an actual doubling from point ground zero when Britain had a national debt of ZERO
pounds,period, and in just 6 (Six) years as well.So what’s to be done?What has been done?Well Government has run up this National Debt but evidently through running up a constant debt, and ever increasing it,obviously has no idea what so ever as to paying it off, and most certainly not a single jot of an idea as to reducing it, yes actually reducing. But it is here where Secret Squirrel parts the ways with the Government, Secret Squirrel has the public Government figures, works with them and calculates with them, and with is mind, his brilliant mind.You see, I,Secret Squirrel has found an actual way to VASTLY reduce the National Debt, by utilizing an actual legal and existing method, one which has escaped the ken of our, far from brilliant, Government.Do you know that Secret Squirrel has actually found a way to reduce the National Debt to a paltry 643 billion pounds, or to put it in trillion terms, .643 trillion pounds,or say 16500 pounds per person.How to do it? How to do what the Government’s great and brilliant minds can’t do? Ridiculously easily, and rightly properly and legally too.

Let us consider,firstly and most legally and importantly,the significance of, England’s squatter laws,those of things such as adverse possession,which most directly affects our National Debt reduction solution…………for example…….as expounded in the Wikipedia, to be legally precise, at…………

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adverse_possession

………..Adverse possession is a process by which premises can change ownership. It is a common law concept concerning the title to real property (land and the fixed structures built upon it). By adverse possession, title to another’s real property can be acquired without compensation, by holding the property in a manner that conflicts with the true owner’s rights for a specified period. For example, squatter’s rights are a specific form of adverse possession.

The circumstances in which adverse possession arises determine the type of title acquired by the disseisor (the one who obtains the title from the original owner), which may be fee simple title, mineral rights, or another interest in real property. Adverse possession’s origins are based both in statutory actions and in common law precepts, so the details concerning adverse possession actions vary by jurisdiction. The required period of uninterrupted possession is governed by the statute of limitations. Other elements of adverse possession are judicial
constructs……specifically for England and Wales…………..it is ……………England and Wales .In England and Wales, adverse possession has been governed by the Limitation Act 1980, the Land Registration Act 1925 and the Land Registration
Act 2002. Different rules are in place for the limitation periods of adverse possession in unregistered land and registered land.

For unregistered land, the Limitation Act of 1980 states that a squatter must remain in adverse possession for 12 years, at which point the paper owner’s title to the land is extinguished.

For registered land, adverse possession claims completed before 13 October 2003 (the date the 2002 Act came into force) are governed by section 75(1) and 75(2) of the Land Registration Act of 1925. The limitation period remains the same (12 years) but instead of the original owner’s title to the land being extinguished, the original owner holds the land on trust for the adverse possessor. The adverse possessor can then apply to be the new registered proprietor of the land.

The position of a registered landowner was significantly improved by the Land Registration Act of 2002. Where land is registered, the adverse possessor may apply to be registered as owner after 10 years of adverse possession and the Land Registry must give notice to the true owner of this application. This gives the landowner a statutory period of time [65 business days] to object to the adverse possession, and if they do so the application fails. Otherwise, the squatter becomes the registered properietor according to the land registry. If the true owner is unable to evict the squatter in the two years following the first application, the squatter can apply again after this period and be successful
despite the opposition of the owner. The process effectively prevents the removal of a landowner’s right to property without his knowledge, while ensuring squatters have a fair way exercising their rights.

Where a tenant adversely possesses land, there is a presumption that he is doing so in a way that will benefit his landlord at the end of his term. If the land does not belong to his landlord, the land will become part of both the tenancy and the reversion. If the land does belong to his landlord, it would seem that it will be gained by the tenant but only for the period of his term……

here ends the wikipedia legal epistle………..

So basically just living in an abandonned property with no efforts to be evicted for a certain period of time,the statute of limitations, entitles the squatter to said occupied property which they occuipied for the a for said mentioned time. That’s the law, and is governed by a statute of limitations as stated, and followed.And that’s the whole point, England,Great Britain, the United Kingdom, has laws existent and laws which,being properly civilized, it follows,totally,utterly,completely,unquestioningly.Even squatters have those rights, any kind of squatters,citizens and/or not,equality for all,justice for all, according to the rules, to the law, to the very letter of the law. So, where are we going from here to connect to the United Kingdom’s National Debt problem?Well consider now this.

It is the law.Did you know, that according to English law,British law, the law of the land, the law of the United Kingdom,that within the United Kingdom,it is possible that outstanding debts over 6 years old may not have to be repaid. Perhaps a rather complicated issue on the surface that needs some clarifying, especially if you have received any paperwork regarding the collection of debts that may have been outstanding for longer than 6 years.The answers can be unearthed by digging into the Statute of Limitations. What exactly is a statute of
limitations to the many of us who speak in laymen’s terms? Wikipedia describes a statute such as this as follows, “A statute of limitations is an enactment in a common law legal system that sets forth the maximum time after an event that legal proceedings based on that event may be initiated. In civil law systems, similar provisions are usually part of the civil code or criminal code and are often known collectively as “periods of prescription” or “prescriptive periods.”

The Limitation Act 1980 sets a time limit on how creditor has to take court action against you for unpaid debts. There are different time limits depending on the type of debt you owe. Generally creditors should not pursue you if they have been out of contact for 6 years or more.

So, you cannot simply delay repayments for 6 years and have them written off. The creditor must have neglected to pursue you for the debts for a period of 6 years.You cannot use the statute of limitations if a court order has already found in favour of the creditor. Court orders stand regardless of the amount of time passed.

You can ask for a court order to be “set aside” if it was made after the 6 year limitation applied. So, for example, if you have not been contacted for 7 years and a court order is obtained by the creditor you can go back to the court and ask them to “set aside” the ruling so that you can submit a defense based on the limitation act.

So, let’s try and understand this in the simplest way possible. For example, the United Kingdom hypothetically, owes whatever a sum of money for a debt loan as nations are provided with. A period of time has passed the nation(s) still have not demanded the money repayment, further time still passes and it appears that debt has been all but forgotten,ignored,except for being so many huge figures on paper.

Suddenly, years later they remember that the United Kingdom still owes even yet a significantly huge amount of money but because this certain amount of time has passed (decreed by law, depending on the statute) without proceedings to recover the money being initiated, it as though the United Kingdom no longer owes those nations the money and the debt has there for been wiped out.Action is not taken,by and under and following the United kingdom laws,and so within these time limits then the creditors,the most foul and foreign nations,find themselves out of pocket and with nowhere to turn,the laws of the realm, this realm, this England,this United Kingdom, and the debtor,the United Kingdom,is debt free,the

debt being wiped out,forgiven or whatever term you wish, is gone and does not exist, except that of the now discovered 6 year period, which is the actual figure going back to the from now zero start,restart period, of six (6) years, the paltry figure of 643 billion pounds, or .643 trillion pounds.Via right and proper English laws, the debt of the united Kingdom, has been effectively, literally, in figures quite almost really halved,and legally so as well.

However,there may be some paltry drawbacks you know, as unpaid debts, even if under the Limitations Act, may still cause problems in the future, especially when it comes to credit rating. Even though a debt may not be enforceable, due to the points discussed, this does not mean that it won’t be filed onto our credit history and create an unfavourable credit rating. If this is an undesirable outcome, then the sensible option is to clear the debt in full,if we can, but our debt would then be the much smaller figure of the afore mentioned 643billion pounds.This puts us in much better field position all round compared with nations which don’t have and don’t or won’t intelligently apply these(if theirs),laws……..now we’d be twice as better off compared with Australia, and 4 times as better off as compared with the colony of Canada…..America is utterly ridiculous,I was going to try not to mention them,(As of August 3, 2011, the gross debt was $14.34 trillion dollars,if you really must gloat) nor they,the Japanese, but ,if you really must gloat Japan’s national debt in dollars is…..12.31 trillion US dollars (7.48 British pounds).THEy don’t know how to pay theirs either, lacking the legal ability to do it, nor to legally reduce it.

But,WE,know differently don’t we,I,Secret Squirrel,have found the legal means to do so,all that remains is for the British Government, the politicians, to hold their lamps alight, hold the lamp of knowledge high, enlighten their minds,as much as the mind of Secret Squirrel glows, incandescently, but we all know,don’t we, that the politicians are possessed of simple,very low wattage and dimly lit, curly bulbs.Do we have hope that they will follow the advice of Secret Squirrel, that they will follow the epistle of Secret Squirrel, that they will follow the legal economic psalms of Secret Squirrel……..should they? The MRL would,you should,they should,without question.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Makes The National Debt Work For You

Secret Squirrel has seen that there is a great problem what with the economics of the economythe,National Debt, not only that of the UK,that is Britain,(England), Northern Ireland,Scotland and Wales, but all other nations within what was the EEC (the European Economic Union) and is now known as The European Union,(the EU),problems it seems pointed out by the Americans,of course, they do enjoy pointing out other nations problems, that nations besides themselves are in danger of defaulting their debts and this displeases the Americans who are pleased to be in a similar situation,which the other nations seem not allowed to mention nor reference nor refer ,nor infer to, but in not mentioning it to anybody in particular, and America hopes that they,the other nations, and our government incumbent, won’t notice,and don’t,notice.A successful ploy it is too, workable, sadly. So we seem to be forced in to a situation of reducing our increasing meager national debt in order to please the Americans whose national debt of bloated and ever burgeoning to grotesque obscene rates. well, the governments,of the UK, incumbent and past,were and are unable to solve this problem with the Americans,and one is quite sure that if they,the governments of the UK, if they ever had an original idea, it would die of loneliness,and so we,I,myself,Secret Squirrel, you and the MRL, have a problem of what they call the National Debt.So lets look at our field position with respect to that.

The US debt lists at 54 trillion…………..in printed currency,theirs,not ours.The UK debt lists debt at 1.1 trillion,in dollars, no doubt hoping that the Americans can count it,or perhaps miscount it,and England is handicapped and saddled what
with Northern Ireland,Scotland and Wales,so there is a lot to play with here, in terms of figures and data,mathematically speaking. Now how do we get money in to the hands of the people to fuel,fire up,run,drive and whatever, our economy.Well, let’s give our retirees a break, and use them to help us.What we do is give each 1 million pounds for example on retirement.This will encourage early retirement, making more jobs available for the unemployed and so fuel the economy on the job scene, the fluid cash flow area. Let look at the figures involved in that.25000 retire each year, time s 1000000 gets 25000000000 or 25 billion each year, 1 trillion every 4 years,which is what that scheme would cost………….but at 500000 that’d halve all, 1 trillion every 8 years,so we have an option, a Plan A at 1 million pounds, on retirement, or a suggested Plan B, at half that, halving costs. But giving that to retirees would allow them to spend that and so would fuel the economy quite nicely.Also to be considered,on their deaths, the inheritances would pass on the available economic fuel currency.Now all that remains is can we economically finance it all to the satisfaction of the ever irritating nuisances in things of the global economy and the internal economies of all the nations of the world, aside from it,the Americans.

We can, consider this,the American system itself, working for them, as we will make it similarly work for us,not that the Americans like to work for anybody else.Face it the United States,has a huge ever growing, massively,economic debt,and we find that it actually fuels,errr, pays, it’s debt, by printing up Treasury Certificates whenever it needs extra money what with all the where with all and wars and invasions it runs,and these Treasury Certificates have monetary values printed up on them, the money the United States government wants and whatever needs for whatever it wants. So the government goes to the Treasury Department,and gives them The Certificate to keep and put safely away.The debt figure is then simply incremented accordingly,to the Treasury Department, and thence the Treasury Department,through the United States Mint, prints up the
currency value demanded. That’s how that works. Well,surely the UK could well do the same, never mind Europe. Currently the Americans were and are after respectively or not, Spain,Iceland, Greece etc concerning their debts and possibilities of default over there debts, never minding that America is about to default on its debt,and hence to escape must again print up more Treasury Certificates.That’s politics, that’s economics, the politics and economics of the United States with respect to the rest of the world in sum toto, which means directly, in it’s entirety.

So why again, can the UK not simply print up said Treasury Certificates as it needs? Not part of The System?Well, it could be. under an MRL government we could simply print up Treasury Certificates as well,and lacking the American Treasury Department, we could simply present the Treasury Certificates to them, for them to print up the money required for us.Surely they wouldn’t complain, but would be accommodating.Failing that, as is most likely with our fair weather friends, that being the Americans, well, we could have the Bank Of England do and adopt the same system with respect to the UK could we and they not?We could further assuage the Americans who for some reason might object as they object to the possible default of Spain,Ireland,Iceland,Greece etc and whatever et all,meaning including.

What we also could do, and I do mean also,at the very same time,is to generate yet more additional funds,meaningful funds, to actually take in currency,to please the Americans,by further reducing OUR national debt, is very simple in it’s mechanism, so unique and so cunning it is yet no surprise it has not occurred to any incumbent and previous government aside from myself, and so hence the MRL,through myself.Quite simply put, the government dishes out the DOLE,not the pineapple,but welfare as it were, funds for doing nothing, funds for not working,not being gainfully employed etc and whatever.Well, they receive their dole, currency, from the government, which hands it out as THEY need it. Of course it is increased when those on the dole need or ask for it,which renders the immune to and from everything, including fuel purchases,heating costs,food purchases, electric uses and rates,clothing costs,rental costs and increases,water rates and uses etc etc etc etc.Well now, what about taxing said dole folk?Yes, you see we tax those on the dole, and at higher rates than those who are forced to work for their living and pay for it all, and those on the dole.We tax those on the dole, they can’t really complain and grumble as they simply go to the government to pay for it all with money the government would give them to do so, and so the government would then take in monies and us it to proper use, such as reducing any accruing National Debt. Ah you see the sense and sensibility in it all now don’t you! A system which actually works,works for you, not against you, works to paying off a national debt, and seeing to it you’re comfortable in your age! Yes,indeed! All that remains is for you to get and have it all…..and the only way you can get it,is to vote MRL!!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,(MP),Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel:The People Of England Are Second Class Citizens In Great Britain.

Secret Squirrel is amazed by the British Government, which sets rules,regs,laws, and dishes out financial supports round and about Great Britain, which comprises, England,Scotland,Wales, and Northern Ireland, and sees, as financially the English
themselves have seen(the English being those referred to as being and residing and being citizens in England),that those in England itself are most severely second class citizens as compared to those who are living in Wales,Scotland, and or
Northern Ireland. Secret Squirrel sees that it is those of England who are suffering financial hardships,sees that those in Wales,Scotland,Northern Ireland, have benefits far in excess of what is made available to the people of England.There is vast inequality,inequity,iniquity. This has been seen in the fields of public health and welfare,costs of prescription drugs and drug benefits,home heating,transport, tuition fees,higher benefits to those in Northern Ireland,Scotland,Wales, and lower to those in England…..read on………

Just look at what the latest headlines read, under the new coalition government of the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats…….ponder this here found at The Daily Mail……….

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1334535/TUITION-FEES-Welsh-students-join-Scots-spared-rise-English-punished.html

Punished for being English: Welsh students join Scots in being spared tuition fees rise ……………(Additionally)According to the TaxPayers’ Alliance, public spending per head is 14 per cent more in Wales than in England as a result of the controversial Barnett formula, under which money is handed out by the Westminster
Parliament to the devolved administrations.In 2007/08, every man, woman and child in Wales benefited from £1,042 more in public spending than in England.The row centres on Westminster plans to allow the cap on tuition fees in England to rise to
£9,000 a year from the current £3,290 for students starting university in September 2012……….move by the Welsh Assembly government – a coalition of nationalist Plaid Cymru and Labour – is a pointed snub to the plan.The Assembly pledged to pay the difference between current fees and the new £9,000-a-year charges for all Welsh
undergraduates, as well as students from elsewhere in the European Union studying in Wales………(NOT for those from England studying in Wales)……..English students now will have to pay the full amount to study in Wales but students from
other EU countries will not.Welsh education minister Leighton Andrews described access to universities as an important principle.‘We are preserving the principle that the state will subsidize higher education and maintain opportunities for all,’ he said.‘In Wales, we remain committed to helping the most disadvantaged access education.’The waiver will benefit approximately 70,000 Welsh undergraduates who study in Wales each year, and about 16,000 who study in England.It will also go to around 7,500 non-UK European Union students.At the same time, the poorest students in Wales will be able to access grants for living costs of £5,000-a-year, higher than grants proposed for England………………Scottish undergraduates studying in Scotland do not pay tuition fees, although they are liable if they study in England, which affects a very small number.English students studying in Scotland pay fees of £1,820 a year or £2,895 for medicine.

And so here ends the excerpt from The Daily Mail.

But wait, there’s more, and this was under the New Labour government of Tony Blair,and thence Gordon Brown,cast your eye on this………..

Secret Squirrel has passed on some thoughts on the unfair treatment that English taxpayers received under Labour,here, as seen below:From the London Evening Standard……….

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23400817-divided-kingdom-english-foot-the-bill-for-scots-prescriptions.do

And so here the headlines read……………..

Divided Kingdom: English foot the bill for Scots prescriptions
By KIRSTY WALKER and JENNY HOPE –

“English taxpayers are to foot the bill for Scots to have free prescriptions.
Chronically-ill patients north of the border will not have to pay a penny for their drugs from April.And the Scottish National Party plans to extend the benefit to all within four years.The move, which will cost English taxpayers £50 million a year, is seen as deliberate provocation by the SNP, which ousted Labour last month and wants to break up the historic union between England and Scotland.

Prescription drugs

English taxpayers are to foot the bill for Scots to have free prescriptions
It revived demands for an end to the total £22 billion “subsidy” paid to Scotland, creating a divided nation.Scotland receives about £1,500 a year per head more than England to spend on schools and hospitals, an arrangement which has infuriated English MPs and prompted demands for Gordon Brown – himself a Scot – to order a Treasury review.

Among the many benefits enjoyed by the Scots are:

• Free tuition fees for all students from 2009, while students in England and Wales must pay up to £3,000 a year for their studies.

• Access to expensive state- of the art drugs for illnesses such as Alzheimer’s and eye disease, which are not available on the NHS in England.

• Free personal care for the elderly

• Free central heating installation for all pensioners

• Free eye tests and, by the end of the year, free dental checks

• Better rates of public sector pay for nurses and other workers.

• Discounted bus travel for teenagers and free travel for pensioners Prescription charges have already been abolished in Wales, where they ended in April, with politicians claiming that it was “the biggest move to improve public health in
decades”.But in England, the charges have recently risen by 3 per cent to £6.85 per item.”

(Here ends the excerpt from The London Evening Standard)

So, since Labour has provided all this for Scotland, I propose that we in The M.R.L., simply provide for the British people

what is provided to Scotland,in all equity,equality and fairness.We will endeavour to provide the British people equality with the people of Scotland.Also,now, since wales can locally subsidize not only it’s own,shall we say citizenry, in place
of residents,so too then must England see to it that the English Government, must then also subsidize it’s own people, those being of England, in equity,and in equality all round.Sadly we must state that we can understand the great demonstrations against the present coalition government,in efforts to either bring about equity and equality with the rest of Great Britain,or to have the coalition government roll back,rescind,withdraw, it’s intents to raise the tuition fees of those in England itself,must be applauded.Indeed there is much at stake here, for we do so in many sectors that those of England are becoming second class citizens with respect to the rest of Great Britain,specifically Wales,Scotland, and Northern Ireland.

One, at least I,Secret Squirrel, and probably,and one most certainly hopes, a great many others as well,feel that there must be a basis, a base,of equality,of equity, within all areas of Great Britain, within England,Scotland,Wales, and Northern
Ireland.The present ridiculous second class condition being created by consecutive governments,of all parties,with respect to the people of England, must be corrected.England must have equality, equity,with respect to the Scotland,Wales, and Northern Ireland. The present condition of inequality,inequity, and iniquity, must be corrected, must end, there must be equality for all in the governmentally controlled sectors,but presently, in government,their is neither rhyme,nor reason,equity,nor equality.In England, the government members,the Right Honorable Members,are the Lords Of Misrule.

Secret Squirrel.

Secret Squirrel’s Solution To Prevent A Most Foreign Invasion of England Through Use Of The Chunnel

Secret Squirrel has been busy,studying ways and means to protect Britain from invasion through the Chunnel (The English Channel Tunnel),the thing so most feared that the Chunnel was nor bored through until this day as it were, in these times.Throughout history there have been fears of French invasions of England,Frenchman ,frog eating,snail eating,knarly pickley nosed Frenchman,wearing stripped jerseys, playing ridiculous accordions and saying “Comman,Comman,Comman”,and so England invaded France many times in hopes of discouraging them………but……….what goes around,comes around,and so from France,there even yet was a horrific,yet tiny little one, return invasion.But face it, they’re so foreign and french that it was just enough……….too much as a matter of fact, getting them back home was a thunderously obnoxious task………….the men that is, the women could have stayed,it’s just that there weren’t any women in the french army you know,and what’s an army without at least one bint(just look at the Spaniards,they were wise enough to have at least one on each ship, called a “Donna”, and ours, we did have,al be it, Mr. Prostitute-it was believed on Britrish ships that it was bad luck to have a woman on board ship,mind you the Titanic proved that to be a scientific proof)…………….not even yet as
………….as………………..as………………you know…………well………hang it all,they’re all…………..frenchmen,you know,et all.

Well now, how did it all start..typically………Two centuries ago, the idea of a road tunnel was suggested to Napoleon during a brief peace between France and England in 1802. But war soon broke out again,of course…he couldn’t wait…….They guessed that the chalk of Cap Blanc Nez ran under the sea all the way to the white cliffs of Dover – no-one really knew. They imagined horse-drawn carriages driving down a wood-propped tunnel like mines of the day, lit by candles,bringing troops in to England from France for their invasion………but the idea existed only on paper, due to Napoleon’s great problem, he couldn’t hold his pants up long enough.

Then in 1869…….Frenchman Thomé de Gamond proposed a scheme,widely accepted in England and France. After making many hazardous solo dives to check the sea-bed, he proposed a rail tunnel, bored through the chalk which he believed ran below the sea-bed.Both countries agreed to work together on a joint tunnel scheme to bring them closer together,they’d become briefly friendly after the Franco-Prussian War.. Engineers began boring trial tunnels from both sides in 1881.

Two tunnel companies started digging seriously in 1881 from the cliffs between Dover and Folkestone, and west of Calais (Sangatte).
Technically, it was a success – driven by compressed air, the boring machines worked well, and there was so little flooding they only switched the pumps on for half a day every two weeks! Within the first year, each side had bored almost 2 km of tunnel, and they expected to complete a 7 foot diameter pilot tunnel across the Channel within 5 years.

The English,we, started on our side,E.W. Watkin promoted Low’s scheme and work began at Abbot’s Cliff with the excavation of a 7 foot diameter tunnel under the direction of F. Brady, using an early (Beaumont) tunneling machine, which completed 840 yards. It was the moved to Shakespeare Cliff where it completed a tunnel of 2020 yards under the sea towards Dover harbour.The French had completed near as much from their side.

However there was growing fear of French invasion…and so Parliament ordered,wisely, a halt to the project,
since it had aroused alarm amongst the British military, and in 1883, further building of the Tunnel was banned. The Tunnel company suggested (in vain) that, as a safeguard, they could install an inlet to the sea half-way along the tunnel! A soldier would be permanently on guard, ready to pull the plug if the French should try a surprise invasion! However, you know, Parliament well knew that guarding soldiers tended to sleep a lot, remembering the earlier French invasion when England had been asleep.They offered to build a fort guarding the tunnel entrance, and to wire it up with explosives ready to destroy the whole tunnel or flood it with seawater…..

It was no good! The British generals did not trust the French, and that was that. The French tunnelers gave up – believing the British would always be stubborn about staying as an “island fortress”.In modern times some they preferred to be referred to as Free French(recall now, that things in french are reverse when traslated to the true English), but in Britain it was generally French Free(when the British Hugenot Inquisition came to Britain that was changed to French Fries).

However……………..Present English governments have not learned their lessons from history, and went ahead with the new chunnel project……………and so…..we now have this under the channel tunnel link to France bringing a vast invasion of very foreign foreigners,most defiantely the toul mouthed,mannerless, and most froeign,French…………..Onions said I…………

It came to my mind that present governments had not seriously taken in to account such an invasion, and other invasions, but had ignored toatally all historical wisdoms and concerns for the safety of the people of England, safety from invasion. There is,for example, NO fort, and certainly not a single flood inlet from the sea to halt any invasion whatsoever. The ancientes in our history had at least take defenses in to consideration of any such tunnel project.Sad they haven’t. Onions said I…………

And so…………….I secretly started a study, hidden from ken and mind……………a study so secret that not even those who worked on it knew who was the penultimate source for their secret study………the study of tunnel (and British), security from foreign invasion through and by the use of……The Chunnel…………….and so, here now for all to see, the completed work…………how to stop a most foreign invasion of England from France(and Europe et all)…………..a work completed entirely and conceived entirely by

The International Institute for Aerospace Survey and Earth Sciences (ITC), Centrum for Technical Geoscineces (CTG), Section Engineering Geology, Kanaalweg, Delft, the Netherlands.

Just look now at the direct outcome of the study……….

22 BILLION JARS CONTAINING ROUGHLY 707 BILLION ONIONS AT A COST OF APPROXIMATELY £18.8BN WILL BE REQUIRED TO COMPLETELY FILL THE TUNNEL AND PREVENT A FRENCH INVASION

How about the centuries’ fear of invasion? The scenario below estimates the required number of pickled onions to fill the tunnel network and cut England off from France in the event of an invasion. The calculation is based on the volumes of the two main tunnels, which are 3.8m in radius and are 50km long, and a service tunnel of 2.4m in radius, which runs parallel to the main tunnels.

Volume of two main tunnels:
3.142 * 3.8m * 3.8m * 50000m * 2 = 4577882 m3

Volume of service tunnel:
3.142 * 2.4m * 2.4m * 50000m * 1 = 913040 m3

If the volumes of connecting tunnels between the service tunnel and the main tunnels and pressure relief tunnels between the two main tunnels are considered…

3.142 * 1.65m * 1.65m * 20m * 134 = 22925 m3
3.142 * 1.0m * 1.0m * 15m * 202 = 9520 m3
(p * r2 * length * number of tunnels = volume)

The total volume adds up to 5.523367 million cubic metres. A quick look at the family jar of pickled onions shows that 32 onions occupy 250ml and that 22 billion jars containing a staggering 707 billion onions at a cost of approximately £18.8bn will be required to completely fill the tunnel and prevent a French invasion.

I am sure, each and every pub in England, stands at the ready to contribute, should the need arise, it’s supply of pickled onions, to repel the most foul and foreign invaders!!!! Display your pickled onion jar proudly! Tout it! PLace itt in a glass case, labelled, “In Case Of Emergency,Break Glass.”Not your beer mug you silly idiot!
And let me also point out………….that present governments, have NOT embarked on,nor can answer how, THEY would prevent a foreign invasion of England by the use of the Channel tunnel!!!!!!

The MRL! Secret Squirrel!Always Prepared!!

Secret Squirrel,

MRL,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),

Minister for Re-Deranged re-Engineering.