Secret Squirrel:How To Turn A Massive Profit On The Simple Cauliflower.

Secret Squirrel discovers the headlines,

“In Canada, the 8-Dollar Cauliflower Shows the Pain of Falling Oil Prices”

Well, Squirrel knows, Squirrel is wisdom, Squirrel knows it’s not the oil prices that affect the cauliflower prices, nay, the oil prices dropped, the cauliflower prices rose, the oil rises, the cauliflower price should drop? Does the price of gold fluctuate, no, gold rises and rises and rises, the precious metals, and so too Squirrel sees the precious Cauliflower. Indeed, in Canada, steamed, sautéed or stir-fried,or as a soup,in stews,breaded,fried and whatever, cauliflower is standard fare on many dinner tables. BUT,in Canada, it is a luxury.

As prices for commodities have dropped,oil and so forth, the value of the Canadian dollar has fallen, a direct link to an economy that is dependent on oil and other resources. It makes imports, like fresh American vegetables during the dark Canadian winter, look especially costly.The drought in California, where Canadians get most of their vegetables in the off-season, just compounds the sticker shock. With less bounty in the fields, farmers’ prices, in American dollars, are higher. The Canadians have even yet taken to buying up land in Mexico, farming it, with cheap, virtual slave underpaid if at all, labour, and there they grow food, whilst the Mexicans starve, and said food is then shipped cheaply in to the USA and Canada where it is sold to feed Canadians, and Americans, all whilst the Mexicans starve.

Well now. How does this effect us, the Brits,for example? Well, our cauliflower prices are but a pittance 49pence, which is .97 Canadian cents you know, a 50% drop. BUT recall, the 8 dollar cauliflower,so 8 dollar cauliflower to pence, give or take we’ll round the figures,t’is but a pittance to us, the 8 dollar cauliflower converted to pence works out to 8 x 49pence…3.95 pound………a 3.95 pound cauliflower……. nay, but said 8 dollar cauliflower converted to pounds is 3.95 pounds, less the .49pence…a profit fully of no less than 3.46 pounds/pence….said full 3.95 could buy, garnered from a single Cauliflower sold to a Canadian, 405.70 pence, or 4.05 pounds, so , starting with a seed cauliflower,even yet a single one, sold to the Canadians………and we profit profit profit, you see, the more cauliflowers sold to them at $8 Canadian, the merrier we are in solid British pounds! We convert the currency garnered to British pounds and buy yet more and more and ever increasingly, multiplying more, cauliflower!!

Now do you really need your cauliflower, couldn’t you like broccoli for example, perhaps psychologically looking at it as a green cauliflower,really, and thence part with your cauliflower and sell it to the Canadians, growing it anywhere and everywhere we,and you, could, and should, including the system of buying Mexican lands cheaply from the Mexican government, to grow it there and sell it to the Canadians. Why we would garner huge,absolutely huge, profits.

Yes, Squirrel knows, there is profit in confusion, Canada is a confused land, there is profit in Canada,there is profit in Cauliflower! Yes, please see Squirrel’s new, going soon to production, financial film, Cauliflower:The New Hope……..I’m working on it and shall have my cousin, George Lucas, produce and create it, as he has some experience in producing films.
As they say in Canada, never let it be said, that Squirrel, gave you a bum steer, nor a cheap cauliflower. And if our laggardly government would wisely engage in this,Squirrel’s cauliflower venture, and speculation,why the massive amounts of currency so garnered, would produce a Britain as sound as the pound.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Suggests Ways To Solve California’s Lack Of Water

Now Secret Squirrel has been pondering California’s great water shortage. And, of course, Squirrel has solutions to the problem, solutions that the American government sadly is not obviously considering nor implementing. Now what is the OTHER MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world besides water…..t’is OIL! BIG OIL! Now each year America imports, in oil, in barrels,
160 million barrels from Saudi Arabia alone……now 1 barrel equates to 34.9723 IMPERIAL gallons,or 41.9 US,or 6,704,000,000 gallons……….now imagine if this was water imported from foreign nations sent in to California……

Now each Californian uses 181 gallons each day….which means 7,022,800,000 gallons consumed per year,by the sum total population of California, population figure being placed at 38.8 million, this makes a deficient of 318,800,000 gallons. Of course did I mention it’s JUST Saudi Arabia, and it’s oil? Well now what if these oil tankers were water tankers, then, you see water could be transported to California from foreign sources, and notice the tanker capacity in oil,thence transferred to ability to carry water, we see the NUMBERS of tankers necessary just easily matches the numbers of oil tankers, in short, all is possible. Now we DID see a total shortfall, BUT we didn’t include ALL foreign oil imports requiring tankers. So IF America built a huge tanker fleet comparable to the Big Oil tanker fleet, it COULD supply California with water from foreign lands…..but it doesn’t want to. Tch Tch Tch. Such laggardly government Americans suffer from.

What did America do and fund for the Saudis, and the Israelis who were also short water………it funded, and built………….salt water water desalination plants,many great numbers of them,in ever increasing sizes. Does the American government do this and fund this, for California and Californian? Nay it does not.

Now there have been ideas,proposed by Americans, when it was realized that the Saudis wanted water, that ice berg be towed to Saudi Arabia and there melted to supply them with water.
Well, Secret Squirrel, says, tow icebergs to California to supply California with water…..but does the American government do this, nor suggest this to itself…nay it does not. But what did it do in it’s place…..

What did America do and fund for the Saudis, and the Israelis who were also short water………it funded, and built………….salt water water desalination plants,many great numbers of them,in ever increasing sizes. Does the American government do this and fund this, for California and Californian? Nay it does not.

Squirrel also eyed BIG OIL’s pipelines, and suggested that California have pipelines built for it,funded by the US government as BIG OIL’s pipelines are,and pipeline in water from neighbouring states which have water!! Does the US government consider nor do this for Californians? Nay it does not.

So Secret Squirrel suggests to America to do all suggested water supply methods, for the Californians, for the government of the State Of California, for their fellow Americans. So says Squirrel. Why doesn’t America do this………”Forget it, Jake; it’s Chinatown”.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,

MP,Dunny On The Wold,

Secret Squirrel Solves California’s Water Problems.

Secret Squirrel says here ponder
California: 93.91 percent of the state is in severe drought or worse.Well now is there a solution to the problem the American government, AND the State Of California, have not considered,nor looked at? Yes indeed, there always is you know.Desalination……..Saudi Arabia has always had an acute fresh water shortage problem. The problem has been so severe that a proposal was once considered to literally tow an ice burg from Antarctica all to way to the Kingdom for use as fresh water.

The practicality of constructing desalination plants to extract salt and other minerals from sea water became a much more practical plan, and 27 have now been constructed in the Kingdom, supplying 70% of the country’s drinking water as well as more than 28 million megawatts of electricity.

A new desalination plant, hailed as being the world’s largest, has now been completed in the new Jubail II Industrial Zone in the Kingdom’s Eastern Province. The plant, which cost 16 billion Saudi Ryals (US$ 3.8 billion) is expected to create 800,000 cubic meters of water for cities in the Eastern Province, as well as generate 2,750 megawatts of electricity.

Like other countries on the Arabian Peninsula, including many of the Emirate states, desalination has proven to be the most effective way of solving the country’s water needs,even yet at the city level, treated wastewater is being reused for landscaping, irrigation and in industries such as refining,where drinking quality water isn’t a requirement. In Riyadh 50 million cubic meter per year is pumped over 40 km (25 mi) and 60m elevation to irrigate 15,000 hectares of wheat, fodder, orchards and palm trees.Water conservation measures, such as awareness campaigns through the media and educational pamphlets, have been carried out. In addition, in Riyadh a leakage control program has been carried out and a special, higher water tariff has been introduced. Furthermore, free water appliances (taps, shower heads, toilet boxes) were distributed, reportedly resulting in a decrease of residential water use of between 25-35%.

The existing desalination plants carry fresh water to Saudi cities by means of more than 2,500 miles of water pipes.In 2011 the volume of water supplied by the country’s 27 government-operated desalination plants at 17 locations was 3.3 million m3/day (1.2 billion m3/year). 6 plants are located on the East Coast and 21 plants on the Red Sea Coast. Saudi Arabia is the largest producer of desalinated water in the world. 12 plants use multi-stage flash distillation (MSF) and 7 plants use multi-effect distillation (MED). In both cases the desalination plants are integrated with power plants (dual-purpose plants), using steam from the power plants as a source of energy. 8 plants are single-purpose plants that use reverse osmosis (RO) technology and power from the grid. By far the largest plant, Jubail II on the East Coast, is a MSF plant built in subsequent stages since 1983 with a capacity of almost 950,000 m3/day that supplies Riyadh. The largest RO plant is located in Yanbu on the Red Sea. It supplies the city of Medina and has a capacity of 128,000 m3/day. The MED plants are much smaller. Mekka receives its water from plants in Jeddah and Shoaiba just south of Jeddah. In Ras al Khair, the largest plant of the country with a capacity of 1 million m3/day was under construction as of 2012.

Solar desalination also goes on,imagine. The first contract for a large solar-powered desalination plant in Saudi Arabia was awarded in January 2015 to a consortium consisting of Abengoa from Spain and Advanced Water Technology (AWT), the commercial arm of the King Abdulaziz City for Science and Technology (KACST). The $130 million reverse osmosis plant, co-located with a photovoltaic plant in Al Khafji near the Kuwaiti border, will have a capacity of 60,000 m3/day(all water is measured in cubic metres take mote, m3). The plant relies on grid power at night and its operator expects to sell electricity to the grid in the future. A ten times larger plant at a hitherto undisclosed location is due to be launched once the first plant has been commissioned as part of a national plan to massively expand solar desalination launched in 2010 called the King Abdullah Initiative for Solar Water Desalination.

Floating desalination also is there. In 2010 the largest floating desalination plant in the world with a production capacity of 25,000 m3/day (9 million m3/year) was launched on a barge in Yanbu. While this capacity is just a small fraction of total installed desalination capacity, it is sufficient to supply a city with more than 100,000 inhabitants with drinking water. Just like smaller desalination barges that operate since 2008 they are designed to meet high seasonal demand for potable water anywhere along the Red Sea coast of the Kingdom In a land where summer midday temperatures often reach as high as 130 degrees Fahrenheit , having adequate amounts of electricity and fresh water is crucial to the Kingdom’s development, as well as it’s very survival. And so too it is of California, note also the electrical energy generation plus, a very big plus isn’t it. Remember also that US foreign aid, and investment has built those plants in Saudi Arabia, and MANY other Arabian nations as well, you,the US taxpayer, the Californian taxpayer…..know. Also do note, that America likes to build pipelines all over the place,oil pipeline, carrying oil vast distances…….Squirrel also suggest America build pipelines, but safe pipelines,water pipelines, bringing water to Californians.Why just recently the USA cancelled a very expensive and partly constructed pipeline……….the money involved being so very much piffle to the US government.Piffle,the US government is loaded down on piffle, spending their time and piffle on sending armies round and about the world,bombing people, destroying nations…..piffle,so much piffle.Well now,America having piffle money available,can easily spend the piffle on building useful pipelines to carry water to the good citizens of California.But do they,does it, and why not then. So the solution IS at hand, Secret Squirrel HAS the solution, but the US and Californian governments must quickly implement and apply it.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP(Dunny On The Wold).
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel On The Happy Meal Ban,Or Don’t Worry,Be UnHappy.

Secret Squirrel has turned his attention to the so-called Happy Meal Ban, or at least, the attempt to ban those things referred to as happy meals, namely the inclusion of a child’s toy, with the meal the child receives.Secret Squirrel is worried,he’s unhappy, and he NEVER got a toy with his meal.So,go on now, what is it really all about?Do you really know?Happy Meals are soon going to come with a sad surprise for children in the US.Lawmakers in California have voted to ban toys from being served up with McDonald’s burgers and fries.Officials claim the free goodies, often promoting a new film or popular cartoon characters, lure children into eating foods with high sugar, sodium and fat.Previously there was an attempt to ban,specifically,Happy Meals.As it occurred ,voting against the measure was Supervisor Donald Gage, who claimed parents should be responsible for their children.

‘If you can’t control a three-year-old child for a toy, God save you when they get to be teenagers,’ he said.

‘Ultimately, parents decide what their children eat and whether a meal includes a toy or not – that is the role of a parent,’ added Jot Condie president of the California Restaurant Association.

‘The county government does not need to serve as the parent of the parents.’

The attempt at this measure,each measure, as the measure is proposed, claims to battle an obesity epidemic sweeping California and the rest of America.
While supporters insist the ban will force restaurants to offer more nutritious food to children.But face it,are they in there every day? No. What do I see,at,say, McDonald’s? I see slim secretaries,walk in slim,walk out with a bag of food, or stay and eat, and they’re back there the next day, same thing.But they’re staying slim.Months later she’s still slim,not having to walk sideways to get through the door to get to the food.I see lots of them,it’s habitual,it’s addictive evidently, this food thing is. Is it really though, what you eat, and not so much as how much you eat?What will you eat, what will your child eat?Their fill.Would you want them to eat less?The obesity rates started to skyrocket in the 80’s, there Food companies,and whatever food marketing companies, started putting foods everywhere, encouraging snacking, making it normal for kids and adults to buy all kinds of
sugar laden snacks,choc bars and whatever have you that you see in vending machines all round and about you,and encouraged people generally to drink sodas all day long,by being equally available. The list goes on of available snacks.Yes, you are what you eat,when and where and how much, it all adds up, and those candy bars add up to quite a total from a very small amount.I know plenty of people who go into calorie shock when they look at a cookie and discover that it contains 670 calories.A present proposed Happy Meal law,would not allow the inclusion of a toy in any child’s meal with more than 485 calories, 120 calories for a drink, 200 calories for a single food item, 600 mg of salt or high amounts of sugar or fat.I want a cookie.Well you can have a cookie,yes,but not the toy.

Look now.I lost weight.I was at 180 pounds.I starved.I ate less.I enjoyed it less, I cut out almost entirely……..sugar and had no soft drinks.I lost weight, I’m at 155 pounds.I have been so for months,with a constant feeling of hunger,I am UnHappily happily at 155lbs,they say this is good for me, for my height and weight.Yet why, then,am I discontented, and hungry?Why?Why do I WANT to eat more.I would eat more,I could eat more, and be happy, and back to 180, and back to being stated to be,overweight,obese,and yet I would be happy,and not feeling constantly hungry? Did MacDonald’s cause that?NO,not one bit,my own cooking?Dare the government blame mine, or anybody else cooking? Ask the government,would they say I’m unhappy as I now am? Maybe not, but they’ll say it’s all good for me.THEY like me like this.What am I doing this for? I don’t know,I’m not happy,I’m really tempted every minute of the day to eat my fill,again.Does the government say it’s
the beef,the pork, the chicken?The way it’s cooked?I cook the only way I and others know how to cook.Does the government want me to be a vegetarian?I cook a hamburger the same way as everybody else, I place it on and with,and between seasoned buns with lettuce,tomato,pickle et all,just like, and I have cooked it ,too, the same way,the meat.So what is it?Kids are taken out,Happy Meals or not, to places they’re happy,to places we take them,to be happy,so they’ll happily eat their fill.We don’t want them to starve.Happy Meals? Sad for kids.But then,they’re learning,that government exists, politicians exist,to make us all unhappy.Worry.Don’t be happy, eat your UnHappy Meal, unhappily,that’ll for sure keep them happy.Don’t worry.